whats happening pre-chemo

Let the blogging begin! Here's a rundown of technical updates n then I'll jump into what's on my mind emotionally lately:

My most important update is that transferring my Illinois Medicaid to Idaho Medicaid officially happened successfully during this past week! Fingers crossed nothing impacts my insurance in the future. 

Finally, my radiation symptoms have begun retreating & I can be wide awake n back to a normal sleep schedule. I did lose most of my left eyebrow, but an eyebrow loss is far better than other things.

My upcoming chemo cycle will be 28 days for the next year-ish. The doctor I had in Chicago said we would try to reach a year of chemo treatment whereas my Idaho doctor says we will go beyond a year; so who knows how long this will go for. Regardless, it'll be 5 days in a row I do my chemo, 23 days I don't do chemo & at some point in those days I do blood work & brain scan, n then BAM! Do the chemo again! My first 5 day round of chemo, 4/14-4/18, will be a lighter dosage compared to the rest of the chemo I receive during my remaining cycles. 

Pre-cancer diagnosis; which gave me some cancer knowledge I never thought I'd have, I thought all chemo was was sitting connected to a machine and losing all your hair & a lil weight. Turns out, chemo has different form variations; but overall, chemo kills both the good cells & the bad cells throughout the body. It specifically goes to prevent cells from reproducing. Just the same as my radiation treatment had a list of "may happen/may not happen as a result of treatment", my kind of chemo's got a handful of “maybe/maybe-nots”. But for certain my immune system will drop drastically & things will take longer to heal & my cancer cells will fail to divide and grow until they develop a resistance to chemo.  

Here's a link to a good general rundown on chemo treatments if you would like more info because I am not giving out a chemo research essay: https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/treatment/chemotherapy/how-chemotherapy-works 

Honestly, my biggest chemo concern is just puking & feeling icky inside.

Before I spill my guts a lil for y'all over time here in the Blog Territory, I just want to state that I have so many amazing things & people to be grateful for. I'm lucky to have family to take care of me, a roof over my head, clean water, fresh eggs n milk, space to grow produce, a caring community, n a bazillion other things. Sure, it's really sad to be in a situation such as mine where you're given out of the blue a predicted lifespan & informed of the heart wrenching experience you will have at the end of your life; but I'm happy. There are individuals with far worse medical conditions, far less physical, mental, & financial support, tragic backgrounds, suffering as they face literal war directly outside their door ...etc. I experience a lot of negative emotional thoughts these days because that is normal for everyone; but I'm genuinely overall happy & grateful & will always bounce back from my low downs. 

Now that the easy-breezy technical updates have been relayed to y'all, let's move on to my mental/emotional update. I'm having a difficult time adjusting to both the social & driving habits/norms switch between Chicago & Idaho. When I first moved to Chi, in general public I was too nice, too chatty, too smiley; to the point where a lotta folks were weirded out by my existence. Eventually I adjusted to the comfort of blending in, not chitchattin, keepin a straight face, n avoiding eye contact while still being aware who's around me. I liked being a gal that never saw the same folks in the general public ever. Never at the gas station, never at the same times on the train, never everrrrrrrr!  

The 'scow's very different of course! Here, people in public do eye contact n smiles, chitchat with strangers, wave at strangers, recognize a lotta people, etc. Over my last year n a half, I just have become less chatty unless it's in private one on one chit chattin. But even then, I don't have a lot to talk about because all I've been up to is puzzles & sodoku n keeping my eyes peeled for ticks. I'm not upset about a lil bit of social change- both Idaho & Chicago make me happy- I'm just taking a bit of time to adjust to an unanticipated change.

So, insurance is in the right spot, chemo begins today on 4/14 at 9pm PDT, my brain is still kinda swollen, I'm adjusting socially, driving really stresses me out; but I did not dive into the details, & I'm happy overall despite the cons I have been encountering. Eventually, I will share some organized heavier thoughts from my mind. Right this moment, I’ve got nothing crazy & nothing emotionally deep to poetically convey.